Baby Sleep 101: 6 Myths About Infant Sleep Debunked

Asian baby yawning with teddy bear

Baby Sleep 101: 6 Myths About Infant Sleep Debunked

If you’re a new parent, sleep is probably one of the topics people ask you about the most. It’s common to hear questions like, “Is your baby a good sleeper?” and “Do they sleep through the night yet?” Well-meaning folks might even offer what they think is good advice, like “Be careful rocking your baby to sleep; you’ll spoil them!” or “Don’t put the baby in bed with you.”

But are your parenting instincts telling you to follow your baby’s cues? Perhaps you want to nurse your little one to sleep or comfort them in the middle of the night. Do you feel conflicted and confused when it comes to your baby’s sleep? If so, you’re not alone!

That’s why we and our sister company The Gathering Place have partnered with Certified Baby-Led Sleep and Well-Being Specialist Gloria Lopez, to teach clients about baby sleep. In this blog, we’ll be debunking six common myths about infant sleep. If you’re wondering what’s normal for infant sleep and how to gently support your little one as their sleep patterns develop, keep reading!

Basic Terms for Baby Sleep

When you’re learning about infant sleep, it’s important to understand some basic terms. Here are some key phrases that will help you grow your knowledge around your baby’s sleep habits and patterns.

Homeostatic Sleep Pressure

This is the build-up of pressure from being awake. Newborns have the lowest threshold for pressure, and it increases as they get older. Babies need to feel a sense of calm and safety. When they’re alarmed, it’s difficult to fall asleep because the body releases cortisol, which prevents hormones that lead to sleep from being activated. If pressure builds for too long, your baby can get a second wind.

Circadian Rhythm

This is the internal biological clock that helps us adapt to the cycle of day and night. It’s common and normal for newborns to have their “days and nights mixed up.” Their circadian rhythm doesn’t kick in until about 12-16 weeks old, the same time they begin to produce melatonin. Sleep is very erratic for newborns. You can strengthen your baby’s circadian rhythm by taking them outside during the day and exposing them to sunlight. Let lots of natural light into your home during the day. Around sunset, turn down artificial lights and make your environment dimmer. Ensure where your baby sleeps is dark for sleeping time. Adjust the temperature of your house to be a bit cooler at sunset.

Four-Month Sleep Regression

Infant sleep regression: The reason we hear about the four-month “regression” is because babies’ sleep cycles are short — only 45-50 minutes.

Rather than a regression, think of this time as a progression because your baby is actually developing appropriately. By four months of age, their body will be affected by the sun setting and rising. The body’s master clock, or suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) controls the production of melatonin, the calming hormone that makes us sleepy. It is hardwired to the eyes, and when it gets dark, the SCN cues the pineal gland to produce melatonin until morning.

Sleep Cycles

Newborns have only two sleep states. Around four months old, babies’ sleep architecture permanently changes, and their sleep cycles have four states. The reason we hear about the four-month “regression” is because babies’ sleep cycles are short — only 45-50 minutes. As babies try to adjust to this new pattern, they will often wake up every 45-50 minutes. It’s normal for them to have a tough time connecting their sleep cycles. Allow their bodies and brains to adapt; you can’t train them to connect their sleep cycles.

6 Myths About Infant Sleep Debunked

There’s a lot of conflicting information out there as it relates to infant sleep. Now that you’ve got some basics about sleep patterns, let’s dive deeper and debunk some common myths you might’ve heard or read.

Myth #1: We Need to Teach our Babies How to Sleep

Sleep is an automatic bodily function, like breathing. It’s mostly out of our control. Babies sleep in the womb; they know how to sleep, and their body does it automatically. It’s not a skill that we can teach. Babies need sleep for brain maturation and cognitive function. They’re more prepared to explore and understand their environment when they’re getting adequate sleep. Sleep also plays a role in your baby’s memory and mood.

Myth #2: Babies Can and Should Learn to Self-Soothe

The forebrain is responsible for the most complex functions of the body, including emotional processing and regulating. The prefrontal cortex is not fully developed at birth and continues to mature into the mid-20s. Yes, that’s right, well into adulthood! Self-soothing is an emotional skill that must be developed. Why do we expect infants to be able to self-soothe?

Myth #3: Babies Should Sleep Through the Night by a Certain Age

Consolidated sleep cycles, sometimes referred to as “sleeping through the night” or “connecting all sleep cycles,” is not necessary for healthy infant and childhood development. In fact, most adults have sleep patterns that involve waking between sleep cycles. Babies might get hungry, thirsty, hot, or cold. Or perhaps they need to feel safe and connected to you if they don’t sense you when they wake.

Myth #4: Sleep Associations are Bad Habits

It’s normal for babies to fall asleep while being fed, rocked, or bounced. These are not “sleep crutches.” Even though sleep pressure, melatonin, and circadian rhythm are telling their body it’s time to go to sleep, babies still need help falling asleep and, oftentimes, going back to sleep between sleep cycles. If they wake, there is a need that needs to be met. Maybe they’re having discomfort from gas, teething, or sickness. It’s also normal for them to wake and realize they’re alone.

Myth #5: You Need to Night Wean and Feeding to Sleep is Bad

It’s normal for babies and toddlers to be hungry or thirsty during the night. For young infants who are hungry or thirsty, the appropriate response is to offer the breast or a bottle. They cannot have water or solid foods. In addition, if your baby or toddler wakes at night, perhaps between sleep cycles, they might need support to fall back to sleep. For many little ones, nursing provides that comfort.

Myth #6: You Need to Sleep Train Your Baby and Maintain a Strict Sleep Schedule

Sleep training is a method that aims to extinguish a baby’s or child’s behavior as they signal to their caregiver throughout the night when waking. It’s founded on the belief that you can teach an infant to sleep and self-soothe. There are alternatives to sleep training.

  • Follow your caregiver intuition. You know your baby best. Tune into your child. Instead of asking, “Why won’t they sleep?” try, “What’s preventing them from thinking sleep is a safe place to go and stay?”

  • Stick to rhythms and routines, not schedules. Create a predictable rhythm, not a strict time table. Flexibility will lower your and your baby’s stress, which will help them relax for sleep.

  • Remember there are no quick fixes in parenting. Stay present while making changes. You can always make gentle shifts while remaining responsive and without going against your intuition.

  • Work on yourself before trying to change your baby. Seek support and ask for help. Take care of yourself. Seek professional help for mood disorders. Learn how to self-regulate yourself.


Are you interested in learning more about infant sleep? Attend our Newborn Sleep 101 class, which is offered through The Gathering Place on the third Wednesday of every month from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. You can sign up at https://www.theplacewegather.com/postpartum-parenting.

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