During the early phase of labor, prepare a snack or light meal for your partner, and help them to stay hydrated.
When we think of labor, most of us focus on the birthing parent, the person who manages contractions and pushes the baby out. Yes, it’s true — labor is hard work for the gestational parent. It takes preparation and surrender to give birth.
But the role of the support person is also extremely important. Birth is not meant to happen alone. It’s one of life’s most vulnerable experiences, and it’s a long process. We are wired to rely on a small group of people who have our interests at heart
You might be wondering, “How can I best support my partner during birth?” or “What can I do to help my partner cope with the pain of contractions?” If you’re asking yourself these questions, you are already on your way to being an amazing support person. To fulfill your role, you’ll have to learn and prepare for each stage and phase of labor. In this blog, we’ll give you the basics of meaningfully supporting your partner during childbirth.
During Pregnancy
In order to be a good support person while your partner is in labor, it’s crucial to prepare before contractions ever begin. Here’s a rundown of what you can do while your baby is still growing.
Educate Yourself
It’s helpful to know the stages of childbirth and what changes are taking place in the birthing person’s body as labor progresses. To learn, you can read books (The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is usually a great start!) and take childbirth education classes. Check out the course offerings through our sister company, The Gathering Place.
Learn the Stages
Childbirth is categorized into three parts. Stage 1 is what we typically think of as labor, and this includes three phases — early labor, active labor, and transition. Stage 2 refers to pushing, and stage 3 is placenta delivery. Your partner will need different types of support during each stage and phase, so it’s important to understand the differences.
Know Where to Go
Even if you’ve been to the birth center before, it’s a good idea to have directions available, just in case nerves affect your driving. Also, be sure you know where to park and where to enter. If you or your partner completed any paperwork ahead of time, bring it with you.
Ready the Car
This is an absolute must — the car seat should be properly installed; we can’t let you leave the birth center without it! In addition, make sure the gas tank is full and have your birth center bag packed, if possible. You could also add some pillows and towels for the ride to the birth center.
Discuss Birth Support
During pregnancy, you and your partner should have conversations about the kind of support they want. Talk about physical touch and verbal affirmations, but also remember that preferences can change during labor, so always be flexible.
Early Labor
When labor first begins, contractions are far apart, do not last long, and are not intense yet. While this is often the longest phase of labor, it’s usually the most comfortable and allows the birthing parent to ease into the hard work that’s to come. Here are some things the support person can do during this phase.
Time contractions periodically. They will probably be 10 minutes (or more) apart and last 30-45 seconds, so an occasional recording is fine. Once the surges are less than 10 minutes apart, time them more frequently.
Go for a walk.
Slow dance.
Play a board game or card game.
Watch a movie.
Prepare a snack or light meal and help them to stay hydrated.
Draw a bath if the birthing person wants one or suggest a shower.
Encourage rest or sleep, especially if it’s the middle of the night.
Touch base with the doula and midwife and let them know that contractions have started. Many doulas will come to your home to begin providing support during early labor.
Active Labor
As the contractions become more intense, the work of labor gets harder for the birthing person. At this point, contractions might be about five minutes apart, lasting for around 60 seconds. All of this means that your role as the support person amps up because there will be a greater need for coping techniques. Here are some recommendations for how you can help.
Keep in contact with the midwife-on-call, so you can decide together when it’s time to go to the birth center.
Perform relaxation techniques, such as massage, acupressure, counter-pressure, breathing exercises, hugging, and dancing.
Ensure a peaceful, calm atmosphere that includes dim lights, music playing, and a closed door. Some laboring parents like oils to be diffused in the birth space.
Encourage changes in position and accommodate positioning, especially if the birth parent is leaning or squatting, which takes a lot of support.
Remind them to drink water and pee regularly.
Communicate with the healthcare team and remind them of the laboring person’s birth preferences as necessary.
Transition
Usually considered the hardest part of labor, transition is when the cervix finishes dilating and the body “transitions” into the pushing stage. Contractions happen close together and are longer (90-120 seconds). Some birthing parents describe these surges as feeling like they’re coming one on top of another. During this phase, you might notice your partner really getting into a zone, and you may even feel like your support is not being acknowledged. However, it’s important for you as the support person to remember that your presence is highly valuable. Here are some suggestions for offering support during transition.
Offer verbal encouragement, like “I love you” or “You’re amazing.”
Remind them that the time to meet your baby is getting close.
Continue comfort measures and breathing exercises if they are helping.
Apply a cool cloth to the forehead or neck or fan the birthing person if they want that.
Encourage rest between contractions.
Pushing and Birth
During unmedicated birth, most laboring parents will naturally feel the urge to push. When this time comes, many birthing people find pushing to be a relief to the intensity of contractions and are able to more fully appreciate the rest between surges. Here are some ways to remain supportive during the pushing stage.
Continue offering encouragement. Many birthing people say something like, “I can’t do this.” Remind them that they can and they are!
Share progress as you notice it. When you see the baby’s head, point it out so they know the baby’s birth is really close.
Provide physical support. You might hold their hand, assist with squatting, or support their back during the hard work of pushing.
Remember how valuable your presence is, even if they don’t acknowledge your support at the moment.
“You might be wondering, “How can I best support my partner during birth?” or “What can I do to help my partner cope with the pain of contractions?” If you’re asking yourself these questions, you are already on your way to being an amazing support person. To fulfill your role, you’ll have to learn and prepare for each stage and phase of labor. ”
Placenta Delivery and Immediate Postpartum
Right after the baby is born, of course, it’s exciting to meet your new baby! But it’s essential to continue supporting the birthing parent during the immediate postpartum time. The following are some suggestions for doing just that.
Praise your partner for their hard work.
Offer them water and food.
Do skin-to-skin with the baby while your partner showers or changes clothes.
Update family and friends.
Communicate about baby care decisions if necessary.
Takeaways about Partner Support
Birth is a transformative event. If you prepare appropriately, it’s more likely to be enjoyable. In addition, as a support person, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure you have snacks and water, go to the bathroom when you can, and protect your back while performing supportive positions. If you wear yourself out, you won't be an effective support person for the duration of the birth process.
Do you want to learn more about prenatal care and birth services at Magnolia Birth House? Fill out our form to set up a free consultation!
